The average payment for Tour Bus Motorist is$ per time in the United States. The average fresh cash compensation for a Tour Bus Motorist in the United States is undetermined, with a range from undetermined-undetermined. Hires estimates are grounded on 5071 hires submitted anonymously to Glassdoor by Tour Bus Motorist workers in the United States.
https//www.glassdoor.com/Salaries/tour-bus-driver-salary-SRCH/ Gabriel Iglesias
Funny / Gabriel Iglesias –Fluffy Tour Bus Driver Dave
For the many, the proud, the big- gutted, we have the Six Situations Of Fatness. They include
- OH HELL NO!
The difference between 5 and 6? You’d begrudgingly let a 5 onto an elevator with you. With a 6, you’d be slamming the”Close Door” button indeed if you were the only one in there.
When the original”OH HELL NO!” asks why Gabriel’s gift shop did not have a shirt in his size
Gabriel Dude, I did not know they made you!
. Gabriel takes his son to the hall, and what does he want to play? DanceDanceRevolution. Jocundity Ensues.
When he shows up at his friend Martín’s house in his new auto. A Beetle. note And the Latino gang members across the road start deforming with him
Gabriel (honks cornucopia)”Marteeeeeeeeeeen!” note
Gabriel”Hey what is over, how’s it goin’?”
. Gangster”How did you get in there, ese?”
. ( Beat)
Gabriel”. HURRY UP, MARTÍN!”
. He latterly gets it customized and returns to pick up Martín again.
Gabriel (refuses to admit the gangster)”. Oh no, I am not gonna look.”
Gabriel (continues to refuse to admit the gangster)”Uh-uh.”
Gabriel ( still refuses to admit the gangster)”I do not see you.”
Gabriel (ignores the gangster for the third time)”Grrrr.”
* Beat *
Gangster” Check it out, ey! It’s The Fat and The Furious!”
.” Martín! Look, my iPhone prevaricated for me! Blackberry can not do that!”
. For the environment, Gabriel went to a bar after a show and got fully shitfaced. His gal texted him, wanting to know where he’s and how he is doing. Martín tells Gabriel not to answer actually, but Gabriel drunkenly responds that she will understand. Gabriel textbooks her back, and she soon responds, not angry at all. Still, this was not because she was OK with Gabriel getting drunk at a bar. Rather, the bus- spell function on Gabriel’s phone” corrected” the name of the bar he went to “Cine- bar”, making it sound as though he was out eating Cinnabons rather.
Gabriel gets stopped by a police officer after getting Krispy Kreme donuts and being so agitated to get home and eat them that he was speeding
Officer Do, you know why I stopped you?
Gabriel (holds up the donuts) Because you could smell it!
Another time he gets pulled over and the bobby turns out to be an addict of his. He can not stay to tell everyone at the station about meeting him.
Officer This is hands down the strip damn business stop I’ve ever been a part of! The only thing indeed funnier than this was when a chum of mine pulled over this fat joe who gave him donuts!
This particular time saw Gabriel being pulled over for going at pets exceeding 100 mph while trying to fight a sports auto with two”hoochies” in it. The officer pulls both buses over and addresses Gabriel first. As he is going to talk to the”hoochies, “Gabriel gets out the Bad Boys soundtrack, puts on the theme song to Bobbies, and blasts it. He ends up giving the”hoochies” a ticket, while Gabriel gets off with a warning because he made the bobby laugh.
And also Felipe nearly screws up the whole thing
Felipe. So does this mean I can keep my weed?
Also the bobby storms back over, and cusses out Felipe, stating that while he liked Gabriel, he sure as HELL did not like him. Felipe continued Tempting Fate by sarcastically acting’ spooked at how the bobby was going’ arrest him’-until the bobby pulls out a shotgun and shoves it in Felipe’s face. The look on Felipe’s face when this happens? Priceless!
Felipe (Holding back gashes)”Are you serious? Are you serious?! I’m going to jail? I’m going to JAIL?!”
Bobby ( Beat, Beat. puts away the gun)”Nah. But that was funny, huh?” note
. Yet another time Gabriel gets pulled over
Officer, You know why I stopped you?
Gabriel (angry black joe voice)’Cause I am black! Haha, hell yeah, man! What is up playah?
. Officer ( shines his flashlight on Gabriel and squints, with a confused expression) Get the hell out of then, stupid!
.Gabriel Yay yay!
Gabriel relates the story of Dave, his stint as machine motorist, deforming with the Border Patrol
. Officer” Now, our canine says there’s some kind of lawless substance on board.”
Dave”Is that what the canine said? How about that? God-damn Scooby-Doo!”
Latterly, when the Border Patrol has Gabriel and his entire road crew (except, of course, Dave) up against the machine being searched, passersby can not help but notice the joe whose name and image are on the stint machine.
( auto races by)” Ethereal!”
( auto races by)”HE’S AMERICAN!”
( auto races by)”DAYUM!” (Gabriel gets worried)
The special citation goes to one of the Border Patrol officers present at the scene — with the last name Sanchez.” Snake!”
Explaining why he can not wear solid colors in LA without scarifying people.
* solid blue *”It’s a Crip!”
* solid red *”It’s Blood!”
* solid unheroic *”It’s a Pokémon!”
Gabriel entered about a dozen chocolate galettes after a show and took them home. He and his significant other have quite a discussion about the galettes (“What the hell is this?””It’s a bakery!”), until Frankie comes downward and sees the galettes. Gabriel gives him a small one
The look on his face at three o’clock in the morning. it was like he got a gift from God! (imitates church music)
The entire”Sunday Kid” squib during”Aloha Fluffy.”Gabe relates how, in trouble to get vengeance for Franky (the step-son) disrespecting him at home, he turns his alarm timepiece forward by21/2 hours, frenetically wakes him up, and runs him through his entire academy routine at light-speed. All throughout, Gabe mentions that its dark, the sun is slightly out, and there are no kiddies around when he drops Frankie off. The stylish part? It was a Sunday.
It gets better his gal calls and forces him to pick him up. Also, there was the fate at the academy where Frankie is dubbed”Sunday Kid” because a janitor saw the whole thing. Gabe goes on to say that demotion is by far one of the most effective and more importantly legal ways to hammer a point into your sprat.
His response when his gal called.
Gabriel SHIIT! LITTLE Snake! (tries to play it cool as he answers the phone) Helloooo?
Gabriel’s Gal Pick. Him. Over.
Gabriel, I can slightly hear you —!
Gabriel’s Girlfriend PICK HIM UP!!!
And The Stinger comes in his coming special. The point that Gabriel was trying to hammer into Frankie to put on deodorant. After the special vented, Gabriel finds out just how important the kiddies at Frankie’s academy have pounded in the point.
* Frankie comes home from the academy, and dumps out 17 bottles of deodorant that were given to him *
. Frankie SEE WHAT YOU DID!
Gabriel Wow, look at all the plutocrats we just saved!
. Talking about a recent show in Saudi Arabia, Gabriel learns from his Saudi motorist that, thanks to Youtube, he’s the alternate most popular funnyman in the Middle East. The first most popular? JEFF DUNHAM.
Gabriel You mean you do not find him obnoxious?
Motorist (Gasps, offended) Nooooooooooooo!”I Plunk YOU!”
. Spending time at the Saudi Arabian Napoleon’s palace, Gabriel sees that Napoleon has several falcons trained for stalking. Napoleon gives Gabriel a demonstration, indeed offering Gabriel a falcon as a gift. Gabriel refuses, as the study of having one reacquiring effect (like donuts) for him would only increase his situations of shiftlessness! Also the study of lending the raspberry to one of his musketeers, like Martín
. (mimics the sound of music playing at a strip club)
Martín The redhead!
Before he goes off to perform shows in India, his suckers advise him about the troubles videlicet, waterborne spongers, the road food, and a rampant crime rate that gets worse at night. After running it over in his head, Gabriel gets to allowing
. Why does that sound familiar?. That is Mexico!
Gabriel describes the business in India, which doesn’t stop for anything but cows. He describes a situation where a man is shot dead, and the motorists do shake their heads, mourn for an alternate, also pull him over to the sidewalk. Should an auto accident be in the middle of the road, blocking the road
. Gabriel ( mimes the sound of an auto-driving over the body like a speedbump)
He goes on to explain that no bone harasses or drives around the cows, as Indians believe their souls reincarnated. When one lays down and stops all business, Gabriel points this out
. Gabriel, We drove past a dead body fifteen twinkles agone!
Motorist That’s presumably him.
In”One Show Fits All”, he mentions how he infrequently gets to attend comedy shows alone because his cortege is concerned about his safety.
Gabe (as one of the cortege) What if someone tries to abduct you? ( followership laughs) (as himself) Well, they are going to earn it!
. In”I am Not Fat, I am Ethereal”, he’d a brief bit on Barack Obama
. Gabe Some people did not want Barack in office only because he was black. And I am like, how retarded- come on, you guys. You know he is Barack. He is not Snoop Dogg. You know, it’s not like he is going to come out,” Ladies and gentlemen, the chairman of the United States.” (beatboxes”Hail To The Chief”) ( record scrapes) Then we go again!”
In”Hot and Fluffy”, he thinks presidential choices should be done like people bounce on American Idol By calling in to cast your vote. One of the options if you do not like either seeker was” option 5″. When pressed.
Gabriel (Bill Clinton voice) Hehehe. I knew you’d be back. That is right. You know you miss your daddy.
Here They Are The Fluffy Vw Collection Gabriel Iglesias